Really Listening

I forgot how much a song can move you. I forgot how amazing it is when all the instruments and voices come together and make something so beautiful. To just sit back and listen to it, without throwing in any backup vocals of my own.


I was just sitting here praying to God that my voice would come back. (It decided to run away.) I didn't realize how much i sing every single day. Yeah, apparently i love to sing. Anyways. I was forced to just sit back and listen. Pretty amazing.

I've been at such a loss for words lately. Even before i lost my voice i was constantly finding myself struggling to find words to say. God is so amazing. I am learning to wait. It's harder than i thought. Waiting is something that i've learned to do in life. But the kind of waiting i'm talking about, really waiting, the right way, is something i'm still working on. Fully trusting God in that He has a plan for me, that's what i am dealing with. I don't need my voice to do that, i need to know His. Now i'm here waiting. Waiting to hear what i can't say.

So matter how well you know the melody, how much time you spent memorizing the lyrics, or how much you love the beat, just sit back, close your eyes and Listen. Don't forget to enjoy the time you have to hear it too!

Finding life again.

I don't even know how to describe what i am feeling right now.

I want to feel God in my life so bad. I feel so lost right now. The past 2 months have been one of the most challenging times in my life. There has been pain in every aspect of my life.
Emotional
Physical
Mental
Spiritual
Just a complete weakness is over me now. I tried to run from it and we all saw where that got me. It took a dead rotting carcass to stop me.
I want to reside in the presence of God. To submerge myself completely in him. To have every thought, every action, every relationship glorify Him.

I miss everything about God. His presence, his joy, his touch. And i'm still missing it. He is trying to tell me something but i can't hear him. The scars from this pain is keeping me from living. I so scared that once things are good again i will get pulled away again.

A song written in 1865 brought a light into my life. It's become my favorite song.. again.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

That and Nick Thurmond's "Not Alone"

Those 2 songs bring a smile to my face and make my day that much better, and gives me strength to push though.

What i've been up to.

isn't it beautiful?


Switchfott

Some Wild Week Promos

My favorite drink!

New Friend

My relationship with Usta

Fun at the Benson's

Downtown San Marcos

Spur 58

Jeff Johnson

Cliffside

Photobooth

Tropical Paradise

Mexican Beach

I got really bored in Mexico

Way to long of a flight

Taking Usta to the park

Jumping benches at night

How He Loves

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And the heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,

Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
...They want to tell me You're cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,



This is pure beauty...
This is a heart cry...
This is worship...
Changing the youth of the nation.

The Color

The color of me.

San Marcos, Texas

San Marcos, Texas has been experiencing some unfortunate mishaps. First there were was the water problem. There was a series of breaking pipes followed by flooding EVERYWHERE! At one point i had to drive through basically a river in the middle of campus. crazy. Then they announced that the water might be contaminated. Taco Bell actually shut down. yeah. and not one place in San Marcos was selling fountain drinks. It was crazy.
Second, there was a black out. Everything south of Wonderworld. No power at all. traffic lights were out. I was just sitting at home then everything goes black. First I thought it was just my house, then i went outside the whole community was out. This happened just before dark and there was some crazy lightning going on in the distance. So i took my dog for a walk. It was fun. When i got back home it was dark. completely dark. so i went to wal-mart. I then got stalked by some creep covered in paint. Then i overheard some comments made by some guys when i passed them. What they don't know is that i can understand Spanish.

So San Marcos, all i want to say to you is, please get those college kids back in town. The store maybe more crowded and the roads might have more crazy drivers. But the college kids are so much nicer. Has anyone ever compared the high school to the college? San Marcos you are great, but. I have never gone into town and not been offended or disgusted in one way or another. Don't get me wrong, i really did mean it when i said you are great. its just that you can only spend so much time here before you've just had too much.